Night Fall

[Bacchus]

Twisted scraps support life
sharpened edges of aluminum
slice through the latex coating
that surrounds a permeable mind
craters caused by constant torment
slowly leaking a cold blood

lunar tides
flood a dry mind
descention of a moon
it will be over soon

plastic splints and thumb tacks
piercing noise shattering eardrums
deafness overtakes the sugar of sound
sweet listening destroyed
brass knuckles and chrome teeth
lava spewing from crevices beneath the cerebrum

lunar tides
flood a dry mind
descention of a moon
it will be over soon

distilled tears shed from desert eyes
thorns appear faded roses smear
climb past the smoke
clean crisp air fills iron lungs
rusted metal shrouds hide
the magnetic feelings inside

lunar tides
flood a dry mind
descention of a moon
it will be over soon

defeated body of
deaf, blind, lonely,
weaping through life
for a fresh breath
decsended moon
pasty dry mind
flood of bloody tears

lunar tides crashing
thrashing floods of oxygen in a mind
fallen light of the night
it will be over soon
descending moon
it is over soon

[ranter]

i dont really know what to say....i read this a couple of times and im not really sure if i like it or not........theres a lot of words that i dont usually use so i had to think about everything that was being said...it just doesnt flow right in my mind...maybe its something that needs to be spoken. i liked the use of a refrain it helped to add a bit a of stucture to the poem. you keep giving a lot of images to put in the head but im not sure the ultimate image that you want to portray...let me read it couple of more times than i will get back---although that is what the author wants to do...to keep the reader reading and to keep the reader guessing and questioning and putting a different idea in each time.

[parch]

i liked it when you read it.
yeah!
that was great!
good night in my head.

___---parch

[machinery]

your word choice, when I first read this when you sent it to me in email..i really liked it..it was different that your usual stuff.....really complex and the chrous in it......i always thought you were a great song writer...and I know you can sing...you just gotta go..(like i should)..all the times we have taken drives at night..and sang staind together...yeah man! I know you got it......